Out of Guilt
by Ms. Tenacious
Summary: Lightning discovers there is still a relative left after a family tragedy.  Thinking it will ease some of her guilt, she dives head first into a commitment that she may not be ready for.  AU and OC
1. Chapter 1

She stood for several moments collecting her thoughts, trying to control the emotions that threatened to consume her. She took one long breath and turned the handle slowly, being greeted by fluorescent lights that bounced off of the gray walls and she could smell mold. She swallowed quietly and approached the front desk.

"May I help you?" the woman asked in a sunny tone despite the sorrow that radiated throughout the building.

"Is there anyone here under the name of Farron?"

"Farron? Let me check…" The woman glanced down at a paper with a list of names on it. "I'm sorry, but there doesn't appear to be anyone under that name."

"What about Villiers?"

The woman checked once more before turning her cheerful eyes towards her. "Yes, yes there is. Claire?"

Lightning gasped. "How do you-?" she started softly.

"She should be upstairs in the last room on your left. If she's not there, check around back on the playground. Can I help you with anything else?"

"Um, no thank you." Lightning said before heading for the stairs. Her gentle footsteps echoing down the hall told her that her niece was most likely not there. She followed the instructions and came to the room that she was supposed to be in. The door stood ajar and Lightning peeked inside. It seemed cold and bare. The only items that appeared to be the little girl's were a few stuffed animals sitting on the short bed. Lightning stood for a minute, preparing herself to look in the playground. She had never met her niece before and she felt that these were terrible reasons to meet each other now.

Both Serah and Snow had died in a recent car crash. It added to Lightning's guilt that she couldn't remember the last visit she had made to them. Lightning remembered the morning that she had received the email that was sent to her from one of Serah's closest friends saying that the two had been killed and the funeral was one week away. It was the first time that Lightning was utterly speechless. She cried uncontrollably for the next few days and stayed home from work. When the crying passed, she was numb from head to toe. It wasn't until the day of the funeral that it sank in that they were gone. Forever. She felt remorse for losing touch with her sister. She couldn't stop thinking of all the rude and mean things she had ever done to Serah. It crushed her.

Lightning took a deep breath and made her way outside. She followed the handmade stone path behind the dull building and she could hear the voices of young children. She rounded the corner and approached the nearest adult. "Uh," Lightning said shakily, "Is there a Villiers child here somewhere?"

"Yes, she's playing with the others. She's not hard to pick out. She has your hair. Are you a relative?"

"Yes." Lightning answered. She left before she could be asked anymore questions. She walked over to the fence that kept the children from running away and peered inside at them, seeking out her niece. Lightning spotted the rosy hair from where she stood and strained her eyes to focus more on her. She was running at the head of a pack of kids with a smile on her face. Lightning fought her tears. The girl looked almost exactly like Serah when she was young. This child was the last of her blood relatives.

It was at the funeral that Lightning had found out about the little girl. She was approached by a friend of the couple's and had been informed of the girl's existence. Lightning felt that she was now her responsibility. It was the least she could do for her sister and she thought that it might be able to ease some of her guilt.

That was what brought her here to the orphanage. To take the little girl into her custody. Lightning steadied herself and went inside of the fence to fetch the girl. She was fast. She had inherited the athletic abilities of the family along with the recognizable hair. Lightning moved toward the girl at a slow pace, not wanting to scare her. She realized that she had no idea what her niece's name was and turned around to ask one of the adults.

She walked up to the one closest to the fence and spoke quickly. "What is the first name of the Villiers child?"

"Whoa. You two have the same hair. A relative, I take it?" he asked. Lightning didn't answer. "Her name is Claire."

Lightning gasped. Serah had named her the same name that Lightning once had. It added to the immense guilt. "Thanks." she mumbled and walked toward the girl once more. She jogged to where Claire was and called out her name. The girl stopped and looked, full of curiosity. "Hello… Claire." The name felt odd in her mouth. "Do you know who I am?"

The little girl shook her head. "No. But you look a lot like mommy. Are you my auntie?"

Lightning was surprised at how observant she was and the intelligent tone in her voice. "Yes. I'm your aunt."

"Auntie Lightning?"

Lightning gave a small smile. "Yes. I'm here to take you to my home. I'll take care of you now, I'll keep you safe." she promised.

The girl smiled. "Okay."

Lightning filled out the adoption forms while Claire went upstairs to pack up. "Thank you so much. It's nice to know that another child will be going into a good home." the woman at the front desk said. "You _are_ a relative then?"

"Yes. Sister of the mother."

"I heard about what happened and I am truly sorry. I can't imagine how horrible that must feel." she said. Lightning looked down, wanting to hide the pain that showed clearly on her face. The woman changed the subject. "We like to see relatives taking children home because we know that, most likely, they can be trusted to keep them safe and away from harm. We deeply appreciate what you've done and I'm sure that Claire does too."

Lightning nodded and went upstairs to find Claire. She found her sitting on her bed, looking sadly at the floor. "Claire?" Lightning carefully called. "What's wrong?" she asked, sitting on the bed next to the girl.

"I'll miss everyone here. They've all been so nice to me." she said with a sniffle. Claire leaned against Lightning making the woman tense, but after a short pause Lightning put a comforting arm around her niece.

"It's okay. I'm sure you'll see them again. You'll probably see the other kids at school." Lightning said doubtfully. She lived in a completely different part of town and the kids there all went to a different school then the kids in this area. "And if not, you'll make new friends. It'll be okay." Lightning concluded.

Claire looked up at her aunt with hopeful eyes. "Really?"

Lightning smiled. "I'm sure of it." she encouraged. They exited the room a few minutes afterwards with all of Claire's belongings. Everything was able to fit into a small garbage bag. She had two stuffed animals and three changes of clothes. Lightning buckled Claire into her car and told her she'd be right back. She made her way back up to the front desk. "Does Claire have any more belongings then the ones in her room?" she asked, knowing that Serah probably spoiled the girl.

"Ah, yes. They're in the back. I'll get them for you." the woman said before going through a door near the stairs. Lightning wondered why Claire couldn't have all of her belongings with her in her room. The woman appeared. "Here are some other things and here's the key to the storage unit with the rest of her belongings in the city. The government decided to leave it there and let her next guardian decide what to do with it. And if she had turned eighteen before she had a new guardian, _she_ would get to decide what to do with it. But that's not important. Here you go and thank you _so_ much for what you have done."

Lightning said her quick goodbyes and left the building, going to her car. She packed it up and drove away with her last family member in the back who was waving to the children that were left at the orphanage. They drove quietly. Lightning lost in her own guilt-filled thoughts and Claire gazing out of the window.

Lightning and Claire were going home.

**A/N - Sorry to all of you Snow and Serah fans, but I don't plan on having them come back to life. They'll probably be in Lightning's thoughts a lot and she'll probably have flashbacks and what not so they'll still be in the story. Don't forget to leave a review and tell me what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Where are you going?" Claire called to Lightning as she moved out of the doorway and started to walk down the hall.

Lightning wasn't sure how to handle kids. She'd never been exposed to any other than Serah. She had stood in the hallway while Claire had gotten ready for bed, not sure how she could help. The girl had unpacked her few things without much interaction from her aunt. Claire had been quiet and focused.

Lightning hesitated before responding, "I'm going to my room." She waited for an answer but didn't get one. She walked into Claire's room to make sure that everything was alright. "Is there something you need?"

Claire was looking curiously around her room before her eyes traveled up to her aunt. "Well… We usually said prayers before bed…"

"Oh." Lightning mumbled. _I didn't know that… _they_ were religious… _Lightning thought as she felt the familiar twinge of guilt stab her stomach. She mentally scolded herself, once again, for becoming so distant from her sister. She sensed the confusion in her niece's innocent eyes, watching her new guardian suddenly so distant and not completely there. Lightning's attention snapped back to reality and she put up her mask to protect herself from anything that might catch her off guard again. "I'm to tired. You can say them by yourself, can't you?" she said, a new edge in her tone.

Claire stood uncomfortably under Lightning's cold expression. "I can. Good night." Claire muttered.

Lightning nodded slightly and exited the room, letting her mask melt away. Instead of going to her room like she said she would, Lightning proceeded to make her way downstairs and into the kitchen. She glanced blankly around the room before walking to the coffee pot. There was some left over from that morning, but Lightning didn't like to waste anything, so she poured the rest of the chilly coffee into a mug and took a long gulp. She didn't wince as the pungent fluid washed down her throat and hit her stomach. She didn't care if it kept her up all night. She hadn't been able to sleep well recently anyway, so what did she care?

Lightning stood with her hand on her hip, while the other hand held the coffee mug, and stared vacantly out of the window above the sink. Although she couldn't see anything but the shadows of the night outside, her thoughts were vivid and full of color. She was beginning to come to the conclusion of what Claire was to her.

An apology.

Lightning couldn't imagine herself becoming attached to the girl, but she couldn't see herself feeling like the girl was a bother either. She was a connection between herself, Snow, and Serah. Nothing more.

Lightning blinked and came back into reality. She exhaled and faced the opposite direction of the window before easing herself to the ground. She pulled her knees into her chest and set the mug on the floor next to her. She rested her head on her knees and wrapped her arms around her legs. Lightning shut her eyes and struggled to calm her racing mind. After many attempts, Lightning gave up and let her mind wander.

"_You're _still_ getting married? Are you kidding me?" Lightning snarled at the couple sitting in front of her. They were in a local diner. It wasn't anything fancy. It was filled with red colored booths and tacky wall decorations. They were surrounded by people, but that didn't stop Lightning from raising her voice. "Serah. You don't even have a steady job and _this_ idiot's not one that can be considered dependable _or_ hard working."_

_Serah was looking at her lap, avoiding her sister's gaze. "But, sis… I love him."_

"_Oh yeah? What does love do for you when you can't pay the bills? When you don't have enough food to last the week? You'd probably come crawling to me to borrow some cash and then never pay me back." Lightning's fierce questioning caused Serah to stay quiet with her head pointing down. Lightning could see tears rolling off of her cheeks and splatter onto Serah's jeans._

"_Lightning!" Snow interjected. "We'll make ends meet. You can trust me. I'd never let _anything_ hurt her."_

_Lightning scoffed. "Does that include yourself?" Snow glared. "Tell me again why you're getting married?"_

"_We're getting married because we love each other and we couldn't imagine spending our lives apart." Snow snarled._

_Lightning laughed once without humor. "Sounds like a happily ever after." she spat. "Just remember your promise when she's shaking uncontrollably on the sidewalks of downtown because your cardboard _box_ isn't warm enough. She'll beg you to help her but you won't be able to." Lightning smiled in a spiteful way, knowing that she was getting under his skin._

"_Lightning! Please!" Serah shouted. Everyone started to look their way. "This is why you'll end up alone in a house filled with cats! Just like that old lady that used to live on our street! Alone." Serah's watery eyes met her sister's icy ones._

"_Cats." Lightning scoffed under her breath._

_Serah turned her gaze to her side, away from Snow and Lightning. "No one will _ever_ love you." she growled._

"_Except my cats." she joshed. "_You_ love me, don't you Serah?"_

"_I don't know anymore…" she murmured. Lightning scowled. Snow shifted in his seat nervously._

"_Is everything okay over here?" The three of them jumped, being sucked out of their argument. "Some of the other customers are telling me that something may be wrong." A waiter in a black uniform was standing over their booth with concern in his eyes._

_Lightning shot daggers at him with her eyes. "Everything's fine and dandy, sir. You can get back to whatever it was you were doing."_

"_Let me know if you need anything." he mumbled and walked briskly away._

_Lightning scoffed. They sat in silence until their food came roughly ten minutes later. _

"_Mmmm." Snow hummed, enjoying his meal. Serah nodded in agreement._

"_It's adequate." Lightning commented. Serah sighed. Lightning watched as Serah wolfed down her food twice as fast as Snow did. "You sure like that food."_

_Serah peeled her attention away from the cuisine on the table to her sister. "It's alright." Lightning narrowed her eyes, suspicious. "What? I'm hungry. Is that such a bad thing?" Serah said._

"_You do realize that you've eaten more then Snow has, and he's already done. Seems like you're just getting started."_

"_I'm _hungry_."_

_Lightning quietly gasped. "You're eating for two, aren't you? You are! You're pregnant!" Lightning exclaimed. "_That's_ why you're getting married! He knocked you up!"_

_Snow's head snapped up, his eyes wide. "Serah… We haven't even-"_

"_No I'm not, Lightning!" Serah interrupted._

"_Snow, you _bastard!_" Lightning exclaimed. Snow cringed away from Lightning's fury filled eyes. She looked down at the table for something to throw, her gaze fixing on her glass of water. She grasped the glass and flung the remaining water at Snow. He yelped and got up immediately._

"_What the hell, Lightning?" he bellowed._

"_That's for knocking up my sister!" she yelled. Lightning got out of her seat and moved toward Snow, who was wiping ferociously at his soaked coat. She grabbed his collar and pulled him away from the booth. Lightning snapped her fist into his nose and he fell to the ground whimpering. _

"_Lightning!" Serah shouted, panicked. "Lightning stop it! I'm not pregnant, I swear!" Lightning ignored her sister's cries and continued to pummel Snow on the ground. Serah rushed to her sister and grabbed onto her arm, pulling her away as best as she could. "Lightning! Why won't you believe me? I'll show you _proof_ that I'm not!"_

_Lightning punched him one last time before standing up. "Whatever you say. If you do have one, I will never take care of it. You'll have to on your own." Lightning sneered and stalked away. She paused before shoving the doors open and called, "Snow. Get a job."_

Lightning shook her head. She felt her stomach churning, maybe because of the stale coffee or maybe from the guilt of her behavior. She didn't know. She stood up and walked to her couch, sitting down roughly. She stared at the wall across from her, her mind surprisingly blank. She took a deep breath, relieved. Lightning shut her eyes but didn't fall asleep. She sat there until a piercing scream rang through the house. Awake and full of panic, she sprinted up the stairs and into Claire's room. She found the girl screaming, crying and flailing about on her bed. Lightning didn't know what to do.

"Cl-Claire?" she said, terror creeping into her voice. She rushed to the side of the bed and grabbed the girl on her shoulders. She held on, not sure what would happen.

Claire awoke, alarm on her face. She gazed at Lightning who was standing over her, looking at her with frightened eyes. "Lightning?" she whispered. Lightning sat on the bed next to her.

"Are you alright?" she asked. Claire moved closer to the woman and wrapped her arms around her middle. Lightning tensed. "Claire, what's wrong?"

"It was a bad dream." she mumbled.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lightning offered. _Isn't that what you're supposed to say? _Lightning had no idea. Claire shook her head. Lightning sat for a few seconds thinking about what might cheer her up. Lightning thought of something that she wasn't excited about. "Would you like if we went to church tomorrow?" she whispered to the crying girl next to her. She felt Claire nod. "'Kay…"

**A/N - I'll be introducing more characters in the chapters to come, so don't worry. For this chapter, I wanted to give an idea of how Lightning treated Serah and Snow, and how it's affected her. That's why this chapter's pretty uneventful. I hope I got my point across and I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks**


	3. Chapter 3

"_What about this one?" Serah asked, holding up your average little black dress. Her and Lightning had been shopping for half an hour, but to Lightning it seemed like an eternity._

"_I don't care. Just get me something." Lightning mumbled, looking bored._

_Serah sighed. "Lightning, could you at least _pretend_ to care? Will you _please_ try it on?" she asked in a sweet voice._

_Lightning took a deep breath and mumbled, "Okay." She smiled weakly. She didn't want to fight today. Lightning took the dress from her sister and went into the changing room. They were shopping for a dress for Lightning because she had a formal business party that was coming up. Lightning slipped it on and exited the room. Serah motioned for her to spin in a circle. Lightning followed orders._

"_Sis!" Serah exclaimed. "You're gorgeous!"_

_Lightning tried to conceal the smile that was starting to turn the edges of her mouth upwards. "Thanks." She turned back toward the changing room. "I guess I'll get this one."_

"_You're sure you don't want to try on anything different?" Serah called._

"_I'm positive."_

Lightning stared at herself in the mirror absent mindedly. She was caught in one of her less upsetting memories with her sister.

As promised, Lightning and Claire were going to church that day. Claire had put on the best outfit she had with her, while Lightning was wearing the dress she had gotten with Serah. Lightning walked out of her room and went downstairs. She came across Claire watching TV and munching on Cheerios in her living room.

"Time to go." Lightning stated. Claire nodded and walked past Lightning. The woman followed, moving to the car. They hopped in. Claire in the back and Lightning driving. The ride was long and silent. Lightning gazed almost unseeingly out of the windshield while Claire was looking out the window, watching the land rush by them.

They pulled into the parking lot of a local church. Lightning walked inside, not waiting for Claire. She peered around at the people. _They all seem so happy. _she noticed. Compared to her, they were inhumanly happy.

She felt a tug at her hand and whirled around to see who it was. It was Claire. "Don't leave me!" she exclaimed. People turned to look accusingly at Lightning.

"I didn't leave you." she muttered.

They walked timidly down the aisle, discomfort clear on Lightning's face. She passed a few rows before hearing a familiar voice. "Hey! Hey, Ms. Hardass!" Lightning tensed, her eyes widening. She knew that voice, he was an old family friend, and if she wasn't careful, he would bring back a wave of new, unwanted memories. She calmed herself and turned around, meeting his mahogany eyes. "Haven't seen you in a while." he said and motioned for her to sit next to him.

"Sazh." she mumbled in greeting.

"Lightning."

"Hi, Light!" she heard Dajh shout from somewhere next to Sazh.

"I didn't know you came to church." Sazh started.

"I don't."

"Then what brings you here?"

Lightning glanced down at the girl beside her.

Sazh's jaw dropped. "When did you have kids? I have to admit, you don't seem to me to be the motherly type. Where's the dad?"

"Snow's her dad."

Sazh gasped. "What? He's with Serah!"

Lightning unconsciously put a hand on her stomach, trying to prevent the guilty jolts. "She's theirs." she snapped.

Sazh leaned forward and looked back and forth down their row. "Well, where are they?"

Lightning dropped her eyes to her lap, hiding the rampant emotion. "They're… gone."

"What, like on vacation?"

"No…" she whispered.

"Then I don't understand."

"They're dead, Sazh!" Lightning burst. "I adopted their kid because I feel so damn-" She cut herself off before she could say anything more that she would regret.

Sazh understood. He'd seen how she treated Serah. "Okay, kiddo. I get it."

Claire looked up curiously at her aunt, noticing that she was talking about her. "What were you going to say?" she asked innocently.

"Nothing." Lightning sighed.

The sermon had started and everyone quieted down. "I'm sorry, Lightning. I can't imagine how horrible that must feel." he whispered, putting a comforting hand on her back. Lightning leaned forward and put her face in her hands, hiding. She didn't cry. Her breathing stayed steady. She just wanted to be somewhere else, _anywhere _else, not having this conversation. After a few moments, Sazh whispered, "Hey, Light."

Lightning sat up straight again. "What?"

"Do you really think it's acceptable to wear a black dress to church? Especially one that… _small_?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Sazh. I couldn't care less." she said, her tone monotonous.

He chuckled. "I see."

"What're _you_ doing here, Sazh?" Lightning mumbled.

Sazh didn't flinch at her rude sounding question. He knew she meant it in a friendly way. "Well, Lightning, I've come to church today so that maybe my son could turn out better than I did."

Lightning turned her head to face him. "What're you talking about? You're the nicest person I know."

"I've done some bad things…"

Lightning didn't continue. She had her own problems to deal with, she didn't want other people's dumped on her on top everything else.

Sazh fell asleep half way through the sermon, Dajh and Claire went to play outside, and Lightning was observing the blissful families around her, jealous of their elated smiles and friendly chatter.

"Sazh." Lightning said as everyone started to exit the church. "Sazh, wake up." He woke up quickly and looked around. His eyes locked on Lightning as she started to walk away. He scrambled after her.

"Sorry I fell asleep."

Lightning didn't answer. She circled around the building in search of her niece but wasn't able to find her. "Sazh. Do you know where the kids are?"

He looked around. "I don't see them but I know where they probably are. Dajh's favorite park is around here, let's check there."

Lightning followed him through the winding streets of a neighborhood until they came to a park with a pond in the center and children's play sets off to the side. "There she is." Lightning breathed.

"Told you they'd be here. Maybe we should let them play a little longer, huh? Get their energy out." Sazh offered.

Lightning gave a small shrug and sat on a bench near the water. She watched her niece run and play and laugh. She wondered how the girl could be so content even though her parents were dead.

Sazh sat down next to her with a huff. He waited for Lightning to say something first, but after a minute of silence, he decided to start instead. "How's your job going?"

"You can talk about… them if you want." she muttered, not impressed with his attempt at small talk.

Sazh sighed. "Alright. So how're you holding up? No offense, but you seem like a mess."

Lightning rolled her eyes. "Thanks. I guess I'm holding up okay."

"Mm hm. You miss them?"

Lightning took a deep breath. "Yeah. I miss Serah. Hell, I miss _Snow. _I just wish I could have been nicer…"

"Can't change the past."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she asked, acid in her tone.

Sazh chuckled. "Are you sure about raising their kid?"

Lightning rested her head against the back of the bench. "I don't know. It was an impulse."

"Okay, well, if you need any help just give me a call."

Lightning nodded.

They said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. As they drove home, Lightning couldn't escape into her thoughts like she normally could and it was even harder to focus as she became aware of the responsibility sitting in the back seat. _Am I able to do this? Take care of a child? _she asked herself. Claire was humming to herself, oblivious to how her aunt was looking at her through the rearview mirror. _Maybe I should talk to her._

"Uh, Claire?" she said loud enough so that the girl could hear her.

"Hm?" was the answer she got.

"Um, did you have fun?"

"Mm hm." Claire hummed.

"Did you learn anything?"

"Nope."

"Well, of course not. You were outside over half the time." Lightning replied.

Claire started to get bored with Lightning's conversation. "Oh."

Lightning sighed. "Do you want some dinner when we get home?" she asked.

"Okay."

Lightning paused. "What do you want?"

Claire took a moment to think. "Mac n' cheese!" she exclaimed.

Lightning tried to remember if she had any at her house. "We should probably stop and pick some up." Lightning mumbled to herself.

Lightning pulled into the parking lot of a grocery store and got out of her car. She glanced back to see Claire bounding toward her. The girl snatched Lightning's hand making the woman tense, uncomfortable. "Okay." she murmured. They walked in, Lightning grabbing a basket, and went to the nearest aisle in search of Claire's dinner.

Their trip went much longer then Lightning had planned. She thought it would be in and out, but Claire wanted to look almost everywhere. Not wanting to hurt the girl's feelings Lightning agreed and off they went to the many different sections of Claire's interest.

All throughout the store Lightning caught the glimpses other people were giving them. She could hear their voices echo from behind saying how cute Claire was and how perfectly their hair matched. It made Lightning want to get out as fast as possible and avoid unwanted attention.

After forty five minutes of touring the store, they grabbed their mac n' cheese and made their way to check out. When Lightning was in the middle of paying, she was interrupted by the person at the register.

"A check?" the elderly woman questioned.

Lightning looked up from what she was doing. "So?" she said curtly.

"Well I didn't imagine young people nowadays wrote checks anymore. It's just surprising, that's all. Most of them eagerly whip out their rectangular piece of plastic like it's going out of style."

"I guess I'm just different." Lightning growled under her breath.

"That's not a bad thing, though." she replied with a warm, grandmotherly smile. Lightning got back to writing her check. The cashier noticed Claire standing next to Lightning. "Hey there!" she greeted. Claire waved. Lightning tore the check from her checkbook and handed it to the cashier. "Your daughter is very cute. She looks just like you."

"Oh, she's not my daughter. She's my niece."

"Babysitting?"

Lightning hesitated. "Something like that." she mumbled.

**Claire had gone to sleep early. **Tomorrow she had school. Lightning had work, but that didn't make her go to sleep. She sat on her couch, thinking about the day. Her thoughts took her to her conversation with Sazh in the park. She had come to the conclusion that she wasn't prepared to care of a child but she would do as best as she could.

What Lightning thought on the most was how much she really did miss Serah and Snow. She thought of Serah for a few moments longer than what she could handle and was pulled out of it by the lump in her throat and the heat in her eyes. _Lightning Farron, you had better not start crying! _she told herself. She leaned forward and put her head in her hands. She struggled to control her now shaking body, to keep the emotion in. "Shit." she muttered as she felt warm drops of liquid spill onto her hand. She took a shaky breath. "Hell with it." she whispered and let herself quietly sob. "Serah. I miss you. I'm… I'm sorry." she choked out between each ragged breath. "I'm sorry." she repeated again and again.

Lightning wiped the tears from her eyes and went upstairs to her bedroom. On her way she heard Claire whimpering from her room. Lightning peeked inside the girl's room. She saw that Claire was having a nightmare. _Poor thing. I wonder why a little girl would have such terrible dreams… _Lightning thought as she was getting into her bed. It took her a few hours, but Lightning eventually fell asleep. Although, it wasn't a very good sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

A few more days had passed in the Farron household, but it was hardly acknowledged by its residents. To each of them, in entirely different ways, time had no meaning. For one, innocence played a major role in the apathy for each second that passed by. For the other, she drowned in her own despair, unable to escape no matter how hard she tried. For this one, she wanted time to stop altogether.

Lightning tossed and turned in her bed. She cursed at herself for drinking coffee an hour before attempting to sleep. Finally she gave up and lay motionless on her back in defeat. She cautiously let her mind wander, carful not to fall on touchy topics. Lightning found that with extreme supervision, letting her mind wander where it wanted to at night helped her fall asleep. And soon after she started, she fell into an uneasy sleep.

_Water surrounded her, filling her ears with its gentle sound. It was a delicate melody that she fell in love with over and over again. She was lying on a lone island that was barely big enough to fit her entire body. The sunlight fell to the earth and kissed her skin softly. She felt peaceful._

_"Light?"_

_Her eyes shot open. She knew that voice._

_"Lightning?"_

_She drew in a sharp breath. It was the voice that she had been trying to forget._

_"Where are you, Light?"_

_Lightning couldn't resist. She jumped to her feet and surveyed the water around her. "I'm here!" she shouted. "I'm right here!" She spun around until she found the owner of the familiar voice. "Serah!"_

_"Light? Where are you?" Serah's back was to Lightning and she seemed to be walking away. Serah was on land that was only a few feet from Lightning's island._

_Lightning became frantic. She started jumping up and down, waving her hands through the air. "I'm right here! Look behind you!" But Serah didn't notice. She kept on moving away._

_"Lightning where are you?" Serah asked. Lightning could hardly hear her sister._

_Lightning was determined not to lose her, not again. She steadied herself and leaped into the endless sea. She paddled herself hurriedly to the shore that Serah was on, but she seemed to make no progress. The waves in the water started to move faster and harder. Lightning was scarcely able to catch a breath of air because of the violent waves ramming into her. It was as if they wanted her to go back, to be an island._

_After minutes of no progress through the water, Lightning gave up. "I'm sorry, Serah," she whispered and let the water pull her under._

Lightning opened her eyes and peeked at her alarm clock. 3:30. She knew there was no hope for more sleep as she got out of bed and made her way downstairs.

Lightning shook her head slightly. She was getting tired of that reoccurring dream. She had even tried Googling how to stop something like that, but came out with no answer. She would just have to suffer through it.

Lightning sighed as she started to make her much needed coffee and went to sit on the couch while she waited. She turned on the TV, not bothering to change the channel from what Claire had been watching the night before.

Not long after Lightning sat down, Claire came downstairs. "Auntie?"

Lightning looked in the girl's direction. "Hm?"

"I had a bad dream again," Claire mumbled.

Lightning looked at the clock on the wall before standing up. 3:50. She walked to Claire's side and put a hand on her back. "Do you need anything?"

Claire looked up at her aunt. She gave a small whimper and wrapped her arms around Lightning. The woman tensed. Lightning was still uncomfortable with things like hugging, but she would have to get used to them soon if she wanted Claire to grow up good.

Lightning hesitated before speaking. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked quietly. She felt Claire shake her head. "Well, it would probably make you feel better if you tell me." Claire didn't make a sound. Lightning moved to the couch with Claire and sat down.

"It's the same one that I've been getting. The one with the…" Claire stopped. Lightning didn't say anything in response. She was letting Claire go at her own pace. "The one with the car crash…"

Lightning gasped quietly. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"And my parents die…" Claire mumbled, clearly upset.

"Claire? Were you in the car with them in the accident? In real life?" Lightning questioned. She felt her niece nod. "I'm… I'm sorry. Do you want to stay home from school today?" Lightning asked, feeling it was the best thing she could offer Claire. Lightning had done her research; she knew how bad the accident had been from the descriptions in local newspapers. She couldn't imagine how Claire might have felt or how she was able to survive. Lightning just knew that she needed to start being there for her niece since she'd been neglecting to do so.

"No, I'll be fine," Claire replied.

Lightning was unsure about how to handle the situation. "Well… You can stay out here with me if you want. The TV's on your channel and I can make you breakfast if you want."

Claire sniffled. "Okay."

"'Kay," Lightning said and made her way to the kitchen. She got to work on a bowl of cereal for Claire and herself, rushing to get it done so the girl wouldn't have to sit alone for too long. Lightning finished about two minutes later and carried the bowls into the living room being careful to not spill anything. She sat back down next to Claire and handed her a bowl. "Cocoa Puffs. I hope you don't mind."

Claire smiled and replied, "I love Cocoa Puffs!" before promptly taking a big bite of the chocolaty goodness. "Thanks, Lightning!"

Lightning gave a small smile. "Call me Light."

**A/N – Aaaaaah! It's been so long! Holy crap, I'm sorry. I lost touch with this story and it has taken awhile for me to get back into it. I've actually been having some problems with this one mainly because I didn't start writing it with a plan in mind… *sigh* Anyway, hang tight because I'm still trying to figure out where this will be going and if something doesn't make sense or it feels like something's missing, don't hesitate to ask or point it out. Your support is very much appreciated.**


	5. Chapter 5

Lightning gazed down at the girl that was snuggled into her side. Claire had fallen asleep on the couch next to Lightning after their early morning time together. The woman felt that it was best to let the girl sleep downstairs with her instead of waking her up and making her go to her room to sleep alone. Lightning didn't want to risk letting Claire have any more nightmares about the car crash in one morning.

Lightning glanced at the clock and gently tapped Claire on the shoulder. "Time to wake up, Claire."

Claire wiggled softly and yawned. "Five more minutes," she groaned.

Lightning smirked. Serah always used to say that to her when they were little. "No. Now," she ordered and stood up. "I have to work today and I can't be late."

Claire sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Fine," she huffed. Claire got to her feet and walked shakily to her room to get ready to go. Lightning watched her go, a wistful smile on her lips.

_Why does she have to look so much like her mother?_ Lightning thought to herself, resenting the idea the moment she considered it. She shook her head in an attempt to clear her mind as it became crowded with both good and bad memories. "Not now," she murmured.

* * *

"Farron."

Lightning looked up from the newspaper she was reading. It had been a slow day at work so she was having lots of time to herself. "Hm?"

"I need you to fax these papers for me, pronto. Can you do that?" one of her comrades said.

Lightning took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair. "Sure," she answered and grabbed the papers from his hands. Lightning had gone from being one of the top soldiers in their military branch to being condemned as a secretary and having to do a lot of paper work. Her superiors were worried that the emotional trauma from losing her sister would cloud her judgment in the field, so they put her in the office as a precaution. "I'll get right on it."

"I can always count on you, Farron, and for that I'm thankful," he added with a wink.

Lightning mustered up her heavily used fake smile, stood from her desk, and walked to the fax machine. She unenthusiastically put the paper into the machine and punched the buttons on the front. She loathed office work.

She walked back to her desk in the entryway of the building. Once she sat down she called the man that had her fax the papers. He picked up almost immediately. "Done," Lightning informed and hung the phone up.

Moments later, someone entered the building and approached Lightning's desk. She snapped her focus to the visitor. Her lips curved up at the corners a tiny bit. She'd recognize that silver hair anywhere. "Hope?"

The young man smiled at her. "Hey, Light! How's it going?" he greeted. He was carrying a large, rectangular bag with him and he wore a red baseball hat and red jacket.

Lightning was amused as he struggled to carry the bag and keep a steady walking pace at the same time. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I'm working. And that would explain this dorky outfit I'm wearing."

"Working? Aren't you supposed to be in school?" Lightning asked, confused.

"I work during the days and go to school at night," he clarified.

"Really? I didn't think you were able to do that in high school."

Hope laughed. "High school? Where have you been, Light? I'm in college."

"Oh."

Hope's smile grew. "Well, I've got pizzas to deliver and I was thinking that maybe you could help me," Hope hinted.

"Whatever you need, Hope." Lightning left her station and escorted Hope to where he needed to go. It didn't take them very long since everyone he needed to find were on the first floor. The two of them went back to Lightning's desk.

"Thanks for the help, Light."

"It was nothing."

"Well, I guess I'll see you around," he said and waved goodbye.

"Bye, Hope." She smiled at him. The rest of her day seemed to flash by. She got off work and drove to Claire's school to pick her up.

Lightning saw Claire standing on a sidewalk being surrounded by girls that looked the same age as her. Claire saw that Lightning had pulled up next to her and she sprinted to the car. She climbed in looking upset. Lightning looked at her niece, searching for any immediate reason for why she looked so hurt.

"Were those your friends?" Lightning questioned, already knowing the answer. Claire was silent. Lightning sighed. "What did they say to you?" Claire still didn't respond. "Okay," Lightning breathed.

Lightning drove away and went to one place that she knew Claire would like. It was a small park in the middle of the town that got lots of visitors each day. Lightning noticed Claire's face noticeably light up the moment she realized where they were. Lightning parked and exited the car with Claire following close behind her.

Lightning gazed down at her niece. "You can go play if you want. We'll stay for as long as you like," she said. Claire smiled and ran straight to the sand box. Lightning sat down on a bench and watched Claire.

"Well, well, well. Long time no see."

Lightning looked toward the sound of the voice. She chuckled. "Yeah."

"Second time today. It must be an omen, or something," Hope joked as he sat down next to her. He wasn't wearing the hat or jacket anymore.

"Working?"

"Yup. Babysitting for my neighbors. Their kid is playing with the others," he said pointing to the pack of children in the center of the park. Lightning nodded, understanding. "So what brings you here?"

"Uh, I'm here with my niece," she explained. Hope went quiet.

"You're her guardian now, aren't you?" Lightning gave a small nod. "I heard about what happened. I'm sorry, I can't even imagine-"

"It's fine, Hope… It's fine," Lightning interrupted.

"Right. Sorry," he apologized once more.

Suddenly, Claire came running up to Lightning. "I want to go home."

"Uh, okay. Are you sure? We just got here."

Claire moved closer to Lightning and whispered in her ear. "They're here," she said and pulled away.

Lightning looked around and saw the girls that were surrounding Claire earlier. They were staring at Claire and herself, talking amongst themselves. "Oh," Lightning sighed.

"What's the problem?" Hope asked.

Lightning leaned closer to him. "Some of the other girls are picking on Claire," she said and leaned away.

"I see," he replied.

Lightning stood up. "Bye again, Hope."

Hope waved. "Bye. Oh, and call me if you need anything, like a babysitter, or something. I'm in the phonebook." Lightning thanked him and walked away.

Once they were in the car and on their way home, Claire started to speak. "They make fun of me and call me names."

Lightning looked through her rearview mirror at Claire. "What do they make fun of you for?"

"They call me orphan because my parents are dead," Claire elaborated.

Lightning sighed, but stayed silent. She didn't know what to say or how to handle the situation. The rest of the night was about as quiet as the car ride.

* * *

**A/N – **Okay, so pretty uneventful. At least I got two chapters out in less than a week. Hey, GunMetalX , I threw some Hope in there, just for you… Kind of.

Don't forget to leave a review and tell me how I did or what I can improve on. Thanks!

Smallish edit: April 14, 2011


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"So, do you have any idea what you did?" Lightning asked in a quiet tone, trying to avoid the possibility of hurting Claire's feelings. Between her bullies and nightmares, the girl had been having more than her fair share of tears in the past few days.

Claire looked up at her aunt with an innocent expression, eyes widening. "No," she whispered.

Lightning's frown deepened. "Well, neither do I," she mumbled and ran a hand through her hair, irritated.

They had been called into Claire's school, her teacher wanting to talk with Lightning. It was a Saturday and the both of them were disappointed that they had to come into her school, but neither of them had voiced their dissatisfaction. Not yet.

They walked through the double doors at the entrance. The school was silent. There was artwork plastered to the walls, a sign of the life that filled it during the week. The fluorescent lights beamed down on them. It was stuffy inside, making Lightning anxious to get in and out as quick as she could.

The two of them arrived in front of the teacher's door. "Claire," Lightning started. "You should probably stay out of the room, so just stay near by, alright?"

"'Kay," Claire answered and waved as Lightning entered the room and shut the door behind her.

Lightning looked briefly around the room before her eyes landed on the teacher. She was a short, heavy woman with glasses and out of control curly hair. "Hello," the teacher said, her nose in some paper work on her desk.

"Hi, I'm here about Claire," Lightning reported.

"Ah, yes. I-," the teacher stopped mid-sentence. She was looking at Lightning with disbelief in her eyes. "Serah?" she asked, hesitant.

"Wha-?"

"Oh. My. Gosh," the teacher whispered as she stood from her desk and moved swiftly to Lightning, throwing her arms around the pink haired woman. "I thought you were dead!"

"Uh…" Lightning couldn't believe that she was being mistaken as her sister, but the thought quickly melted away, being replaced with a longing for Serah. She took a deep breath and pulled away. "I'm not… Serah. I'm her sister," Lightning explained.

"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry!" she quickly apologized. "I-I'm Mrs. Smith. Please forgive me! You look exactly like your sister," Mrs. Smith mused.

_Barely_, Lightning thought to herself. "It's okay."

"Oh, where are my manners? Please, have a seat," Mrs. Smith offered and motioned to a chair that was in front of her desk. "I bet you're wondering how I know your sister," Mrs. Smith began to speak once they were seated. Lightning gave a polite nod. "Well, she was one of my student teachers, my favorite. She was such a sweet girl… So she _is_ gone then? Never mind, don't answer that. Yes, she was with me when I lived up north. She was probably a wonderful teacher, don't you think?"

Lightning gave another polite nod. "Yes, I think she was. I just wish that she would have told me about her plans to become one…" Lightning said, almost to herself. Mrs. Smith was giving Lightning a sympathetic look. After a moment of silence, Lightning cleared her throat. "So, what did you want to talk to me about? About Claire?"

"Right! I almost forgot!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, smacking her forehead animatedly. She dug through the papers on her desk while she talked to Lightning. "Claire is a very good student, you ought to be proud."

"I am," Lightning replied, almost defensive.

"Ah, here we are! Her report card," Mrs. Smith said and pushed the piece of paper to the woman sitting across from her. "Straight A's!"

Lightning looked skeptically at the teacher. "Is there anything wrong with Claire?"

Mrs. Smith's expression turned serious. "I suppose there is one thing. She's not the most social person."

Lightning raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"And she seems to always have a sad look on her face."

Lightning was getting annoyed. "What are you trying to say?"

"Well, her parents recently died and it's probably been hard on her… Have you considered putting her in counseling?"

Lightning's jaw dropped. "Are you accusing my daught-my niece of being sick?"

"No, no, no! Not sick… I would just recommend that you think about it. It might help." Mrs. Smith defended.

"She's a strong girl. That's not the thing that's getting her down. There are girls that are picking on her! Calling her names! Maybe you should put a stop to them and see what the 'look on her face' is then."

"I'm sorry if I offended you Ms. Farron, I just want to make sure that she's okay. I owe it to Serah."

Lightning's gut clenched. She owed it to her sister also. She sighed and rubbed one of her temples. "What are my other options?" she asked, thinking about the fact that she couldn't afford counseling for her niece at the moment.

Mrs. Smith thought for a second. "Is she involved in any activities outside of school?" She could tell by Lightning expression that the answer was no. "You could start there. It might not make a difference, but it's worth a try."

Lightning sighed. "I'll try."

Mrs. Smith smiled. "Yes, interaction with other children is important. But if it doesn't work out-"

"Counseling, got it," Lightning cut in and made her way out the door. "Goodbye, Mrs. Smith." _I hope I won't have to see you again anytime soon_, she added silently, thinking of Claire's emotional health. Lightning left before Claire's teacher could answer.

"Auntie?" Claire's voice called from a few feet away.

Lightning rubbed her forehead in an unsuccessful attempt to calm her nerves. She looked at the girl and sighed. "Let's… go," she mumbled and escorted the girl out of the building. Once they made it to the car, Claire opened the door to sit in the back seat. "Hey, Claire," Lightning spoke gently, putting a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Why don't you sit up front with me?"

Claire looked up, surprise and excitement in her eyes. "Really?"

Lightning smiled and nodded. "Really." Claire bounced happily to the passenger's side and climbed in. Lightning got into the driver's seat, started the car, and pulled away from the school. The sound of the car calmed Lightning down a bit. She took a breath and started to talk. "Claire, you know you can talk to me. About anything," she started quietly. "I-I guess what I'm saying is that I'm here for you. Always. We're family, Claire, don't ever forget that," Lightning forced herself to say the words. She hadn't been comfortable with emotions or familial support recently, so she was making it up as she went along. "I… Just tell me if you need anything, alright?"

"Okay," Claire replied, oblivious to Lightning's discomfort.

They rode in silence for the next few minutes. Lightning's mind was searching for an answer to help Claire. She took a breath and began to speak. "You're friends with Sazh's son Dajh, right?" she asked.

Claire shrugged. "I guess so."

"We should have a play date then," Lightning suggested. If interaction with other children was what her niece needed, then Lightning would get it for her.

"Yeah!" Claire agreed.

Lightning pulled her cell phone out of her coat pocket and dialed the number that the man had given her some time ago. She put the phone to her ear and waited while it rang.

"_Hello?"_ Sazh answered.

"Hi, Sazh, it's Lightning."

"_Oh, hey, Light! What's up?"_

"Would you be willing to bring your son to the park right now? For a play date," Lightning clarified.

"_I get it. You wanna see ol' Sazh again!"_ he teased.

"What? No, that's not why," Lightning explained. His previous response had distracted her from the road and she accidently ran a red light. "Shit!" she exclaimed as the other drivers honked their horns at her. Lightning covered the phone and quickly apologized to Claire for her foul language. The girl giggled.

"_Are you driving?"_

"Yes, yes, Sazh, I'm driving," Lightning grumbled.

Sazh chuckled. _"Well, I'd better let you go before you kill people. See you at the park. Bye, Light."_

"Bye," she said and hung up the phone. She took a deep breath and paid full attention to the road. Lightning peeked over at the girl next to her. "Don't drive like me when you get older. It's not safe."

Claire giggled once more. "'Kay." Lightning smiled.

* * *

"So what brought this on?" Sazh asked once the kids went to play and the two of them got a chance to talk.

"Claire's teacher called me the other day, wanted to talk." Lightning clenched and unclenched her jaw. "She thinks that Claire needs to see a counselor," Lightning said, starting to get irritated just from talking about it. "Just because she isn't the most outgoing kid or doesn't wear a smile every second of the day."

Sazh took a moment to let the information sink in. "I had a similar situation with Dajh. They thought growing up without a mom would make him turn out to be a criminal, or something." Sazh laughed. "The boy can't kill a spider by himself much less steal from a cash register!"

Lightning leaned her head against the back of the bench they were sitting on. "Yeah…"

Sazh patted her shoulder encouragingly. "Just don't worry about it. You'll raise her to be a wonderful person. She'll get a good paying career, have a family, she'll become a political leader-"

"Sazh, I get it." Lightning sat up straight again and looked at Sazh. "That's not the only thing that bothered me about the visit."

"Oh?"

"I… I almost called her my _daughter!_" Lightning exclaimed, astonished. She shook her head.

Sazh laughed louder than before. "That's what's bothering you?" Lightning nodded. "Well, Light, she _is_ your daughter!" Lightning raised an eyebrow. "She's not your _direct _daughter, but your daughter all the same."

"No, Sazh. She's my _niece_."

Sazh shook his head. "You've gotta accept it, Lightning. Let her into your heart!" he said and put a hand on his chest.

Lightning rolled her eyes. "I guess you're right."

"Mm hm. Just give it time."

Lightning sighed. "She also mistook me as Serah… I didn't really know what to think about it at the time, but now… I'm just missing her."

"What? You two look nothing alike!" Lightning shrugged. Sazh cleared his throat. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked.

"No," Lightning answered succinctly.

The two of them sat and watched the kids play. They raced around the park, played on the swings, and made sand castles in the sand box. "She seems to really like him," Lightning pondered.

Sazh smiled, showing teeth. "Yup, ladies can't resist a Katzroy," he joked.

"Ha ha," Lightning humored him.

"Have you considered putting your girl in sports? I mean, she's definitely athletic enough to be MVP of her future team."

"It _would_ be good for her. Interaction with other kids," Lightning mumbled.

"Hey now, don't let that teacher influence your decisions," Sazh said. "Anyway, I think you should. I've got Dajh in T-ball. He can't hit a single ball even though it's right in front of him and not moving. I tell him to watch the ball. He never does. He just swings without a care in the world."

Lightning chuckled. "Is that so? Does he take after you?"

"Ouch, that hurt. But I think Claire's more of a soccer kid," Sazh suggested.

Lightning thought for a moment. "You're right. I'll sign her up this week."

"Step one for Operation: Avoid Counseling," Sazh clowned.

* * *

A/N – Katzroy is Sazh's last name, right? I guess I should have checked beforehand, but whatever.

As always, don't forget to leave a review blah, blah, blah… Thanks for reading.

Sort of Edit: April 17


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Lightning rubbed her temples, taking deep breaths. She was sitting upright in her bed fighting the waves of emotions that were bombarding her night, muttering soothing words to herself. Her dreams about Serah were getting worse and she had no idea of how to get rid of them, or at least how to make them less disturbing. Lightning glanced from underneath her bangs at her alarm clock beside her bed. 2:33 AM. "Damn it," she breathed. _Three hours and twenty-seven minutes to go before Claire wakes up, _shecalculated.

She ran an anxious hand through her hair, moving the messy strands away from her eyes. Lightning took a shaky breath, wiped the stubborn tears from her eyes, and got out of bed. She made her way downstairs, taking quiet steps to avoid waking her niece. Lightning walked straight to the kitchen and made some coffee, starting her usual morning routine. She paced around the room waiting for the familiar sound of the buzzer signaling that her drink was done. Lightning gazed at the timer and sighed. She was dreading how long it was taking for it to finish. Lightning backed up against a counter and eased herself to the ground. She pulled her legs into her chest and rested her chin on her knees. She shut her eyes and let her mind wander. Lightning watched helplessly as the memories flashed through her mind.

"_Listen, _Claire_," Serah emphasized her sister's real name in a firm voice. "I can do whatever the hell I want!"_

_Lightning laughed without humor. "Not when you live under my roof," Lightning barked back. "My house, my rules."_

_Serah ground her teeth together. "How cliché. I have to say I'm disappointed with your logic."_

_Lightning turned around to glare at her sister. "I'm not joking around, Serah. You listen to what I say, no questions."_

"_Fine!" Serah roared. "If living in your house means I have to be oppressed," Lightning scoffed at her midsentence, "then I don't live here anymore!" Serah was yelling by the end of her declaration._

_Lightning's eyes narrowed at her sister, a mannerism that would usually send Serah whimpering in fear to her room, but seemed to have no effect on her now. "No," Lightning stated, venom creeping into her voice._

_Serah raised an eyebrow, a silent threat._

"_I said _no_, Serah, and that's final."_

"_You're so… So…" Serah said, searching for the right words._

"_So _what?_" Lightning challenged._

"_So _different_... Since mom and dad died. It's like you've lost the fun and happiness you used to have, that I used to love… What happened, Light?" Serah's voice was lower, closer to being normal._

_Lightning blinked. That wasn't what she was expecting. "I-I…" she stuttered._

"_Never mind, I don't care," Serah growled._

_Serah stalked into another room and Lightning heard the door slam. Lightning stood frozen to her spot, unsure of what to do. Serah had never disobeyed her before. Lightning waited a few minutes, listening to the rain pound on the roof. She rubbed her forehead, grabbed her coat, and ran outside to her car._

Lightning opened her eyes as the coffee machine howled at her, indicating that the beverage was done. She stood up, almost robotically, to make her drink. She poured the liquid into her mug with no creamer or sugar, leaving it black. Lightning sat down with a sigh at the table in the middle of the kitchen. She took a gulp of her black coffee and rested her head in one of her hands. She shut her eyes once more.

_The rain was falling hard making it difficult for Lightning to see as she drove through town looking for Serah. The streets were covered in puddles and forgotten garbage. The only light was from the headlights of cars and the occasional street lamp. _She couldn't have gotten very far_, Lightning insisted to herself. Her eyes scanned the horizon in a frantic search for her runaway sister. She checked down every alley to make sure she wasn't getting mugged, or worse._

_Lightning had already checked the mall, one of Serah's favorite places to go in her free time. After that she drove around the more populated areas with no luck. Now she was searching through some of the more dangerous locations in town. _

_Lightning's mind was racing. It was filled with horrible thoughts and ideas of what could have been happening to her. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and punched in Serah's number._

"_Come on, come on," Lightning whispered hopefully. The phone rang until Lightning heard Serah's voice answer from the opposite end of the line. "Thank god, Serah? It's me, Lightning, I-"_

"_I'm not able to pick up at the moment, so leave me a message and I'll get back to you!" Serah's voice chimed. The phone beeped, implying Lightning to leave a message._

"_Shit, Serah, pick up your goddamn phone for once!" Lightning exclaimed and hung up. She pulled over next to a sidewalk and laid her head on the steering wheel. She forced her breathing to stay even, but tears still fell down her face. Lightning took a jagged breath and looked out of the windshield. She stared unseeingly into the night, but before too long a familiar pink-haired girl walked by. Lightning blinked, jumped out of the car, and sprinted to the slender figure marching away._

_Serah heard footsteps and turned to see her sister charging toward her. She started to move faster, her drenched hair sticking to her frame._

"_Serah!" Lightning shouted as she came into hearing distance of her sister._

"_Stay away, Lightning!" Serah yelled back._

_Lightning started taking longer strides. "No," she said._

"_I'm serious, Lightning! _Dead_ serious!" Serah screeched, speeding up her pace to a run. Lightning was catching up. Serah knew she had no chance of escaping her sister so she slowed back down, defeated._

_Lightning came to a walk beside Serah. She looked her sister over. "You're soaked. Here," Lightning paused to take off her jacket. "Take this."_

_Serah shook her head. "I don't need your sympathy."_

"_You're ridiculous," Lightning stated, a smirk on her lips. She hung it over Serah's shoulders anyway. _

_Serah looked at Lightning, silently asking for forgiveness. Lightning nodded slightly at her, telling her that everything was okay. Serah inched closer to her sister so their arms were barely touching._

"_I got your message by the way…" Serah admitted. "I wanted to call back, but…" Lightning chuckled. "Well, you swore twice in the same sentence, so I figured that you needed to calm down a bit."_

"_I… I was worried, not mad," Lightning explained._

"_Oh, Light," Serah whispered and wrapped her arms around Lightning's middle, stopping her in her tracks. Lightning hesitated before wrapping her own arms around her little sister. Serah buried her face into Lightning's shoulder. "I'm sorry," Serah said, her voice muffled._

"_It's okay, Serah," Lightning replied. She took a breath of relief but stopped in the middle of her inhale. She smelled something peculiar coming from Serah. "Serah?"_

"_Hm?"_

"_Where did you go?" Lightning asked._

"_Nowhere," Serah answered. _

"_Oh really, because I can smell cologne on you," Lightning claimed._

"_Oh, uh, yeah… I stopped by Snow's place…" Serah confessed. Lightning made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat. They let go of each other and started to walk back toward Lightning's car. "Okay, I know that you don't like him very much, but he's a good guy, I swear!"_

_Lightning hesitated. "Just be careful around him," she requested._

"_I will, Light. You have nothing to worry about," Serah insisted. Lightning raised an eyebrow. "I promise."_

Lightning's head snapped up, surprised by a slight pressure on her arm. Her eyes found the one responsible. "Claire," Lightning breathed. _Of course, who else would it be?_

"Are you alright, auntie? Were you having a bad dream?" she asked.

Lightning took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair. "No, no I wasn't having a bad dream," she explained. _Just unwanted flashbacks, _she complained to herself. She thought briefly about what she had just watched and couldn't remember what had triggered the fight that her and Serah had had that night. "Was I talking, or something?"

Claire nodded.

"Okay," Lightning responded. She gazed around the room, looking for a clock. "It's already six?" Lightning wondered. She dipped a finger in her coffee and found that it was cold. "Well, thanks for waking yourself up, Claire," Lightning thanked and patted Claire awkwardly on the shoulder. Claire smiled. Lightning rushed to her feet and started digging through the cabinets that lined the walls. "Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?" Lightning didn't care for the answer, because even if her niece said no Lightning would make breakfast anyway.

"Sure," Claire replied.

"Alright," Lightning mumbled. She brought some cereal down and retrieved two bowls. While she was rummaging through the fridge for the milk, she remembered her talk she had with Sazh the other day. "So, would you want to play soccer, Claire?" Lightning offered.

"I don't know."

Lightning rolled her eyes. Serah used to say the same thing to her in the same voice. All Claire needed was a little encouragement. "I think it would be fun. You'd get to spend time with other kids," Lightning described as she poured milk into each of the bowls. "And you'd get to run, kick things, maybe even score some goals… How's that sound?"

"I don't know."

Lightning placed spoons in their cereal bowls and carried them to the table. She placed one in front of Claire and sat down with her own. Lightning thought about what might make it sound like a good idea to her niece. "We could get Dajh to play." Claire looked uninterested. "You know, your mom used to play…" Lightning said, cringing at the words as she spoke of her sister.

Claire looked at Lightning, curious. "Really?"

Lightning smiled despite the touchy topic they were getting into. "She was the best on her team."

Claire's eyes widened. "Did you play too?"

Lightning nodded. "I wasn't on her team, though. They put me with kids my own age."

"Were you good too?" Claire asked, her full attention on the woman across from her at the table.

Lightning chuckled. "You could say that," she responded, thinking back to the days of her youth. "It seems to run in the family and I bet that you'll be good too."

Claire grinned. "Really?" Lightning smiled at her niece's enthusiasm.

* * *

"Come on, come on!" Claire urged, dragging Lightning by the hand through the Parks & Recreation building. "I'm going to be just like Mommy!"

Lightning's brow creased. _How is that supposed to help me get over the fact that she's gone?_ Lightning silently questioned. They shuffled through the halls until they made it to the proper room. Claire bounded to the front desk with Lightning trailing behind.

The receptionist looked up from the paperwork he was doing. Lightning understood that they were probably a much-needed distraction. "Hello! How may I help you ladies today?" he asked politely, his eyes sparkling.

"Is this where we sign up for soccer?" Lightning said.

He looked between Lightning and Claire. Claire was grabbing the edges of his desk attempting to contain her eagerness, but failing. The man grinned. "Which of you will be signing up?" he questioned humorously. Lightning didn't think it was very funny.

Claire looked up expectantly at her aunt. "Light?" she whispered. "Me, right?"

Lightning nodded at the girl and turned her eyes back to the receptionist. "Her," she muttered and motioned her hand at Claire.

The receptionist chortled. "Alright," he said and turned to Claire. "And what's your name?"

Claire looked timidly from the man to Lightning, waiting for something. Lightning nodded encouragingly. "Claire," she answered.

The receptionist looked to Lightning. "Farron," Lightning said.

"Claire Farron," he murmured as he scribbled the name onto a piece of paper. "If you can just fill these out," he said, passing papers to Lightning. "Then you'll be playing in no time," he added with a smile.

* * *

The sound of whistles and the laugh of children filled Lightning's and Claire's ears as they walked to the soccer field. Claire was suddenly very timid at the sight of so many people. Lightning was almost smug at the thought of Claire being shy. Serah had never been shy, so Claire _wouldn't_ be just like her mom.

As they approached the field, they could hear the coach yelling, "Hustle! This isn't a_ Girl Scout _meeting! Move your butts!" followed by a medley of blaring whistles. The voice sounded vaguely familiar to Lightning.

Lightning lead Claire down the dirt trail and arrived at their destination. They stood to the side until Lightning could get the coach's attention. It was a dirt field, dust being kicked up from the slight breeze and moving feet under the blazing sun. The white chalk lines were faded from being trampled on and not being renewed regularly.

"Excuse me?" someone said from behind them. Lightning turned around when the person responsible for speaking tapped her on the shoulder. It was a woman shorter than Lightning with red hair pulled into pigtails and a curious expression in her green eyes. Lightning suddenly felt that she knew her from somewhere. "You wouldn't happen to be the new ones, would you?" she spoke with an accent that was oddly familiar to Lightning.

Lightning raised an eyebrow at being called "the new ones," getting a feeling that Claire and her had been talked about. "Yes, we are," she responded.

The woman beamed. "Wonderful!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands together excitedly. "I'm Vanille, nice to meet you! And you are?"

Lightning gasped quietly. "Vanille? Do you… Do you remember me?" The red head tilted her head to the side, puzzled. Lightning felt a twinge in her stomach as she realized just how detached she had become from the people that she had once held close to her heart. Lightning wasn't sure when or how it had happened, but she was now regretting it. "It's me, Lightning…"

Vanille's eyes widened with recognition. "Oh my gosh! Lightning!" she blurted and quickly wrapped her arms around Lightning who was very uncomfortable with the sudden contact. "I never would have guessed! I'm so sorry, I could never forget you!" At this point, Vanille had released Lightning but was just getting started with her emotionally charged words. "I've missed you so much. How have you been? I've been great. I've been helping coach kid's soccer with Fang. She's missed you too, Light. She took it pretty hard when you stopped talking to us like you did. Is this your daughter?" she babbled.

"Uh-" Lightning managed to squeeze in before she was interrupted by more of Vanille's rambling.

"She looks a lot like you, but I never took you as the motherly type, no offense…"

Lightning took advantage of Vanille's pause and forced words out of her mouth. "She's my niece. Well, I guess she's my daughter now, though…" Lightning mumbled. Vanille tilted her head, in the way that Lightning remembered her doing it.

"Hey, Vanille! What's the holding up? You were supposed to have gotten the jerseys by now. For our practice game, remember?" a huskier voice with the same accent as Vanille called to them from a distance.

"I'll be right back," Vanille babbled to Lightning before turning around and dashing towards a black haired woman standing on the field.

Lightning noticed that Claire looked rather frightened, and she figured that it was probably from her first encounter with the peppy red head that had been standing with them not moments ago. Lightning put a hand gently on the girl's shoulder, reassuring her. "Same old Vanille," she mumbled.

In the distance, Vanille was animatedly explaining the situation to Fang. Lightning could hear Vanille's high-pitched voice from where she stood and couldn't help but smile as her voice gained an octave as she continued talking. She could see that Fang's jaw had dropped and she was staring in her direction. Vanille grabbed Fang's hand and started running back towards Lightning. The nearer they got, the more Fang started to drag Vanille behind her until she let go and was running like the wind at Lightning.

A smirk tugged at Lightning's lips and she started to wave timidly. Fang had a goofy grin on her face, her teeth showing. Her green, baggy t-shirt was hugging her body from the speed and her soccer pants allowed her to move easily while her cleats were digging deeper and deeper into the ground with each step.

Fang opened her arms as she ran. "Lightning!" she shouted happily. Lightning stopped waving and braced herself for the inevitable impact that was to come. Fang was laughing loudly as she recklessly slammed into Lightning and the two fell to the ground. Lightning yelped as she hit the ground with Fang landing on top of her.

"Ow," she mumbled before sitting up and rubbing the back of her head. Lightning scanned her surroundings to make sure that Claire hadn't been hurt in Fang's charge. She spotted her niece a few feet away, wide eyed. Lightning grunted as she was tugged back to the ground and pulled into a fierce hug by Fang.

"I'm glad you stopped by! I was starting to think you'd forgotten about me," Fang teased, elated. She wrapped her arms tighter around Lightning.

"Uh, Fang. Can't breath," Lightning struggled to say.

Fang chuckled then let go. She hopped to her feet and offered a hand to Lightning who was still on the ground. Lightning ignored her and got to her feet, dusting herself off. Fang put a hand on her hip and rubbed her jaw in amazement. "Wow. I can't believe I'm speaking to _Lightning Farron_," she said. Fang shook her head. "Never thought I'd see the day."

Lightning wiped at the dirt that clung stubbornly to her pants. "I didn't think you'd be so excited to see me."

Fang gasped and put a hand on her heart, mocking pain. "How could I _not_ be excited to see my long lost friend?" Lightning smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, Fang?" Vanille spoke up. Lightning and Fang looked her way. "We have a new player," Vanille said, tilting her head towards Claire.

Fang's jaw dropped once more and she looked at Lightning. "She's yours?" Lightning nodded. Fang walked up to Claire and put an arm around her shoulders. "Welcome to the team! Any relative of Lightning's is a relative of mine. What's your name?"

"Claire," she mumbled.

Fang smiled. "Claire, you're going to love it. Everyone's real nice and soccer's the best sport there is-"

Vanille giggled.

Fang grimaced. "What?"

"Remember when you got into that fight with that one guy over what the best sport in the world is?" Vanille asked.

"Yeah, why?" Fang questioned. Vanille shrugged. Fang sighed. "_I_ think it's the best sport… Anyway, it'll be fun. Trust me," she said with a wink.

* * *

A/N – So, I guess this is a full AU thing. You have to admit that it would be pretty terrible if Fang and Vanille never became a part of this. And I thought it was about time for another flashback.

Onto other topics, I'm thinking of giving Lightning a love interest. Yaaaay… So, I'm going to take suggestions. Just let me know if you'd like it to be an OC or a character from the game, and if from the game, who or if you _wouldn't_ like her to have one. And I may or may not take your suggestions, depends on if I like it or not. But don't worry about if you get your way or not, I'll love the fact that you're participating anyway. Tell me in a review or PM me, or just leave a review saying how good or bad I'm doing. I love feedback!

I'm not sure if I was able to respond to everyone last chapter, so I'll just thank you guys here. Thank you so much, you guys are part of what's keeping me writing. I love to hear from you and I can't wait to see what you have to say in the future!

Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

"Alright, so what you do is bend your knees a little," Fang instructed. Claire and the other kids followed orders and bent their knees. "Then you lean into the ball a bit, but don't let it hit you face. Just let it land on your head and bounce off. Okay?" The kids all nodded. "Good. Get ready when I come to you."

Lightning had been taking Claire to soccer practices for over a week, and with each one, the girl became even more enthusiastic about it. She would run as fast and hard as she could with a smile on her face, something that gave Lightning hope every time she would see it. Claire was noticeably faster than the others too, which Lightning would hear Claire brag about every once in awhile. And that was another thing that warmed the woman's heart, Claire was talking to her more and more each day. Lightning was immensely grateful that she had made the decision to sign her niece up for soccer.

Lightning watched from the bleachers as Fang went down the row of kids and bounced the soccer ball gently off of their heads. She smiled with pride when Fang tossed it to Claire and the girl got it to bounce perfectly back into Fang's hands. She was the first one of the little athletes to get it back to Fang without hurting themselves or missing altogether. "Good job, Claire!" Fang praised as she moved onto the next kid. Claire peeked in Lightning's direction and the woman smiled and gave her a hesitant thumb up.

Lightning looked at Vanille when she heard the red head start to climb up the bleachers. The metallic stomping of her feet became louder until she reached Lightning and stood beside her. "Claire's really good. Has she played before?" Vanille asked.

Lightning thought for a moment. "I'm not sure. I don't think that she's ever mentioned anything about playing before now."

Vanille nodded. "Must be a natural!" she exclaimed with a wide grin in Lightning's direction.

"Maybe," she muttered in response. Lightning watched the rest of the practice with Vanille, who was chatting nonstop the whole time. Much to Vanille's disappointment, Lightning didn't humor her as much as she could have. All Vanille got was an "uh huh" or a "yes" every here and there. Lightning was too busy watching Claire excel above and beyond the other kids at a sport she had just started to play to talk to Vanille.

"She's really something," Fang told Lightning once the practice was over. "If she keeps it up, she could really go somewhere with her talent."

Lightning looked at the girl. She was walking next to Vanille, Claire chatting happily with the red head. "You think?"

"Oh, Light," Fang said and looked at Lightning. "I _know_ she will."

Lightning smiled, lost in thought about the possibilities for Claire. They walked to Lightning's car, talking quietly about nothing in particular. Fang snorted as they came into view of the automobile. "Nice bumper sticker," she commented, a smirk growing on her face.

Lightning gazed in the direction that Fang was. She grumbled to herself. "It wasn't my idea." They were talking about a little sticker on the back of Lightning's car. It had a soccer ball with words underneath. The words read, "soccer moms are tough." It was given to Lightning by some of the other moms from the team. It was a rite of passage of some sort, or so Lightning thought.

"Oh, it's not that bad. I'm just teasing you," Fang chuckled and elbowed Lightning in the ribs. "So, Claire's first game is this weekend and I have a feeling that we're gonna win. Well, if your daughter shows up, that is."

Lightning smiled despite her uneasiness with the word daughter. "We'll be there," Lightning promised.

* * *

_I swear I did this same job for him two hours ago_, Lightning complained silently to herself as she followed the recent orders that had been given to her. She shuffled through a file cabinet that was hidden underneath her desk as she searched for the correct paper. With a sigh she pulled out an entire folder and began to dig through it.

"And this is the front desk," Lightning heard someone saying from down the hall. She looked up to see Amodar walking towards her with someone she didn't recognize. Amodar waved at her as they drew near. "And this is our receptionist, Lightning Farron. She's the best one we've had so far," he praised.

Lightning had stood up by the time they came to a halt in front of her desk. The man standing next to Amodar had a straight face on as he held out his hand to Lightning. "Cid Raines," he said. Lightning took his hand. They shook hands, but Cid held on for a moment longer than Lightning was comfortable.

She yanked her hand away as subtly as she could and pretended to be glad to meet him. "It's nice to meet you," she said.

"Likewise," he replied.

"Cid will be in charge of the field troops from now on." Lightning's jaw dropped slightly at Amodar's words. That used to be _her_ job. She had been replaced. Anger pulsed through her body and she quietly ground her teeth together. Lightning felt betrayed.

"Lucky you," Lightning said, envy hidden in her words. Unfortunately, Cid noticed and gave her a look that told Lightning he would be keeping an eye on her.

Amodar shifted uncomfortably on his feet as an awkward silence filled the area. His eyes darted between Cid and Lightning as they stared each other down. "So," Amodar finally butted in. "Shall I show you your office?" he suggested.

"You're forgetting that he probably won't even need an office," Lightning said through gritted teeth as she recalled her years with the job. She never had the time to use her office when she used to have it.

Cid raised an eyebrow at Lightning. Amodar coughed nervously as the tension in the room rose. "Right, well we're off," he spoke and motioned for Cid to start moving in a different direction. Amodar snapped his head towards Lightning and glared. "Speak with me later."

Lightning groaned.

* * *

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Lightning cautiously asked as she stepped into Amodar's office, shutting the door behind her.

Amodar waved his hand at a chair in front of his desk. "Sit," he ordered. Lightning did as she was told and took a seat across from him. "Can I get you anything?"

"No. Thank you," Lightning replied.

Amodar nodded before looking Lightning in the eyes. "So… Would you like to explain to me what happened a while ago?"

Lightning decided to play it safe by playing dumb. "Sir?" Amodar didn't move. Lightning sighed. "I, well… I don't know."

"Oh really?" he said, disbelieving.

Lightning looked down. "I guess I'm just… jealous," she spoke quietly. Lightning thought about the unrelenting waves of anger and envy that had coursed through her body when she had been informed about Cid and his new job. "I guess that some part of me wanted to hope that I would get that job back. You proved me wrong," she explained, defeated.

Amodar leaned back in his chair. "Is that so?" Lightning nodded quickly. "Lightning, given our circumstances we _had_ to hire him. It's been tough for the troops lately and I'm sure that having a leader around will help them." Lightning looked up, confused. "And another thing, I'm not even sure how you'd act out there since the… accident. We just can't risk that."

"But-"

"Lightning, you've been going untrained for months now. You're not at the peak of you game anymore. I don't know if you've been doing independent workouts on your own either. So you're most likely not in any shape to be in the field. It's too risky, Light. I'm sorry."

Lightning stood up and threw her hands in the air. "So, what? I'm just a _liability_ to you? Risking your precious military with my presence?"

"Now, now, Lightning. Calm down," Amodar tried to sooth her.

Lightning paused and rubbed her forehead, thinking. She gently sat back down in her chair. "Isn't there at least _some way_ that I could prove to you that I deserve to be out there?" she asked in a pleading tone.

Amodar thought for a moment. "Well, it's not my call, Light. It's Cid's decision."

Lightning's teeth made an audible crack as they crashed together. "Right," she snapped. "He probably won't get over the fact that I'm a woman, so I most likely have no chance whatsoever."

Amodar smirked. "Oh, Lightning. Not every man judges a person based on their gender. I'll be sure to, uh, help with the tryouts, to make sure that he makes fair decisions, alright?"

Lightning sighed. "Fine," she grumbled, still not entirely satisfied. "Just don't expect me to be nice to him."

Amodar chuckled. "You'd _better_ be nice. He doesn't seem to be the type of person with a good sense of humor. Did you see how seriously he took his handshakes?" Lightning rolled her eyes. "Anyway, you're off the hook. You can leave now. Oh, and can you order a pizza? To welcome Cid to our community, of course."

"Yes, Amodar," she replied and left the room. She was walking to her desk, not paying attention to where she was going, when she was tapped lightly on the shoulder. "Oh, Raines," she acknowledged as she turned to see who it was. "Do you need something?" she asked, attempting to hide the edge to her tone.

"I'd just like to apologize for my behavior earlier."

"Excuse me?" Lightning was confused. She thought that _she_ had been the one misbehaving. Cid didn't say a word. "Um, sure. I mean, apology accepted, but you weren't doing anything wrong…" she trailed off.

"I assure you that I won't be acting like that anytime in the future," he continued.

Lightning chewed on the inside of her cheek, suddenly feeling awkward. "Um, we're going to order a pizza soon. What would you like?" she asked, changing the subject.

Cid's features relaxed. "I'll have what everybody else is having." Lightning's eyebrows knitted together. Cid cleared his throat before speaking once more. "I'll let you get back to work then," he said before turning on the balls of his feet and walking away.

Lightning watched him go with a puzzled expression. She shrugged and made her way to her desk.

* * *

Lightning tapped her finger on her desk, absentmindedly listening to the rhythm of it. She had called the pizza place where Hope worked and asked for him to be the one to deliver it. There had been a small argument, but Lightning eventually got her way. It would be there any moment. Lightning closed her eyes while continuing to tap her finger.

Her eyes snapped open as she heard someone clear their throat. She looked around and saw Cid holding a pizza box. "This came," he stated and placed it on her desk.

Lightning's eyes narrowed. "Thanks," she mumbled. Cid walked away. Lightning rose from her desk and half walked, half jogged to the front doors. She pushed the doors open and looked around the street. She spotted the certain silver haired person she was looking for. "Hope!" she called. The boy turned around, his face lighting up as their eyes met. He waved timidly and walked closer to Lightning.

"Hey! I would've come in and talked to you, but some guy came and sort of shooed me away," Hope explained.

"Oh, yeah. I figured," Lightning agreed. They stood in silence for several long moments. "So, Claire has her first soccer game this weekend and we'd really like it if you came."

Hope smiled. "Sure, I'd love to go," Hope responded. Suddenly he pulled out a cell phone from his pocket and read a text message that had been sent to him. He groaned. "Sorry, I've got to go. Um, call me and give me the details, okay?" he said and gave Lightning an unexpected, but very quick hug before saying, "Bye," and rushing to a car that was parked nearby.

Lightning, still being surprised from the swift embrace, managed to squeeze out, "Bye," before he got into his car and zoomed away. "Okay," she murmured and made her way back inside.

* * *

A/N - Okay, so it's been awhile since I've updated, and for that I'm sorry. And I have to admit, I'm not too happy with how this chapter turned out…

Anyway, it's summer now so I'll have much more time to work on stuff. Hopefully I'll get this updated more frequently, right?


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